Getting a French driver's licence

For some weird reason I have always had a driver’s licence (and have kept it valid) even when I have not driven much in the past decade or so…I guess this is really a vestige of my younger days, coming of age (and coming out) in Los Angeles where you could say No Licence No Life (I mean fun life of course). Cruising on foot in LA may get you mugged, or taking in the distances between cruising areas, you may arrive too tired, too dirty after all that walk or bus rides!

So, living in Paris, I thought at some point that it would be a good idea to exchange my licence for a French one. I also pictured myself zipping around in a Smart (very small cars, almost like half a car really....not because they have good engine, I don’t know about that, or are convenient, but frankly because they look so cute and come in cute colors). I must have had amnesia about how complicated administrative things could be in France (things could have changed today…best to go to the Prefecture to get the latest exchange procedure).
Going to the prefecture to get the French licence I already picture myself that night in a rented Smart heading to Bois de Vincennes gay cruising areas (though how anyone could ever make love in a Smart is beyond me….one has to be a contortionist really). I was, of course, way too optimistic. Indeed I expected simply turning in my foreign licence and getting the new French licence and Hello Smart cars!. That was not to be. First off, not all foreign licences (or for American licence, not all states) could be exchanged directly with a French licence. California licence, for instance, was not directly exchangeable even though a licence from a state like North Carolina (what the hell?) could be exchanged no problem. Australian licences (regardless of states/territories) could finally now be exchanged with a French licence.
Another paper that I needed and did not have was an official confirmation that I have driven more than some years (so, I did not just go out of the country to get a licence and come back to exchange it with the French one). On my licence it was indicated the date of expiration but not the date when I first got my licence ….so, back on the international long distance phone, after waiting given the time difference, to ask for this specific letter.

Finally, I managed to have all the papers: the translation of my foreign licence (by the embassy), a letter stating that I have been driving for years as indicated by the date when my licence was first issued (in fact, the date I was licenced to drive), electricity bill as proof of my address, my passport (photocopied a number of times), and photographs. I completed the form, turned it in with all the papers directly to the person and waited patiently. Hours later, I was called and was given my licence. Surprise, it is a piece of long pink carton and not at all high tech (all the info is typed and your photo is stuck and laminated on, so unlike my old licence that looks like a credit card with infos and photo numerically printed on. Another surprise, I could find no expiration date! This means that you could be of an age that has to be carbon dated and have corresponding reaction times and yet you could still drive?)

Now, before you said Why didn’t I just get a new licence in France rather than go through all that? In France, it is compulsory to go through a driving school that costs a mint (like 2500 euros !) to get a licence. And the tests are really tough apparently as many people fail many times. I remember fondly how I got my first (California) licence : I went to a newsagent to get the DMV booklet for a few dollars, got a relative who is not afraid of dying to teach me to drive in the neighborhood and presented myself for the written and driving test in a local DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles). Much simpler. Yet, the mystery remains of why Californian drivers are so much more disciplined compared to Parisians…