A French Lover named Karem

In Australia and the US, we talk of French lovers as the ultimate lovers. They are passionate and good lovers that could transport anyone to the seventh sky (in French, septieme ciel). They may also be unfaithful which only makes them even more exciting. When I first came to Paris I wanted nothing more than a real authentic French lover. He would come in the afternoon after work with his ‘baise en ville’ (literal transaltion: fuck in town, non literal: a small bag where you could put the necessary for a quick tryst in an afternoon in town) and make love non stop until dinner time (hence the name cinq à sept lovers….lovers between 5 and 7 pm literally) before going back to his proper bourgeois wife. I would be left on the floor of my apartment in the fading light of Paris, bruised and blued but nonetheless with a smile and a fulfilled look in my eyes.

Well, that has happened indeed, though it has not left with quite with the fulfilled look in my eyes or an idiotic smile that indicates whatever happened just before has left me mushy brained. Interestingly, French men do not really believe in the stereotype that others have of them. Sure they know of it but men that I have met chortle at the idea. And even more interesting, in France the stereotype of good lovers actually are accorded to Arabs and Blacks. And contrary to French men, Arab men I know do know of this stereotype and proudly admit that it applies to them! The stereotype of Arab men is that they are CHAUD (literally, Hot. People will also say CHAUD LAPIN which literally stands for hot rabbit, a colloquial expression for someone who likes sex a lot) and always looking for sex, emotional and with admirable endurance. For Blacks, well, as in the US, they are supposed to be more generously hung than everyone else.

So, after a number of years in France, my French lovers tend to be named Karem and Samba rather than Jean-Marc or Francois….So, if you call and I don't respond, it might very well be that I was lying on the floor crossed eyed murmuring something in arabic or wolof.

Note:
If you're a gay male and you wish to make friends with gay Black and Arab French, there is a 'soirée' BBB (for Black Blanc Beur : Black, White and Arab...Beur is a slang for Arab French...literally it means butter of course)at Bus Palladium in Pigalle (Sunday evening tea dance).

French Kiss

It used to amuse me that the French kiss each other and shake hands a lot. When I first came here, every morning I felt like the President as I had to shake hands with everyone (yes, every morning, not just after a long period of not seeing each other) when I arrived at the office. With women, we kiss each other from the word go (that is, when we were first introduced); with men, we shake hands when we only know each other slightly or professionally but once we got to know each other it’s kisses all around). So, after a couple months or so, I always felt like Miss France as I would have to offer my cheeks (those on my face, of course) to be kissed or pucker my lips to kiss. One of the mysteries of rules about kissing is how many times people kiss each other. In Paris, we kiss each other twice, once on each cheek. When I was in the south, it was three times (so one cheek got two kisses and the other just a kiss), in other towns, it was even four times or twice on each cheek.

What may appear curious to Aussies and Americans is that French men kiss each other if they were friends. This no doubt contributes to the stereotype that certain Anglo friends of mine have: French men are gay or at least bisexual! Indeed, you might see a very virile looking guy (who probably works in construction) getting off his truck to meet another similarly dressed man (that is, dressed like a lumberjack) and also getting off a truck. They swagger toward each other and you could not be blamed if you expect a fight or at most a very manly hand shake. But instead they would give each other pecks on the cheeks! Often, when friends have not seen each other for a long time they would triple or quadruple the kisses exchanged….so once I was at Café Beaubourg with a French friend and there we saw a friend of his that he had not seen for ages…they exchanged kisses as if there was no tomorrow or that the night would last for ever. Yes, I think they first double the normal number of kisses to show their appreciation of finding each other again (in Paris, that means 4 pecks total) and lost count and had to start all over again (counting to 4 but lost track each time because at the same time they were gushing How are you’s and Been so long’s !).

But, or course, the most known of all kisses is the French kiss. That ultimate kiss that combines passion and love. Why do we call it a French kiss? I guess because we think the French are romantic, passionate and good lovers. The name the French have for what we call the French kiss is very vulgar though. Rouler une pelle is what they call it which could be literally translated as rolling a spade (as in gardening!). Not very romantic… in fact, downright unappetizing if you ask me. As a tourist, I used to admire couples ‘rolling their spade’ in each other’s mouth on quaint parks and bridges of Paris. It just seems so right since we believe that love is in the air in Paris. That is, until I learned that (rumor or the truth, I still don’t know) the city of Paris employs people to kiss in different places to maintain the image of Paris as the city of love. So, next time you see a nice couple who seem to be so passionately in love and kissing romantically on the Pont des Arts, look closer to make sure that they are not civil servants doing their job!