Paris websex

At times indeed I wished that there was Internet when I was in my early 20s and at the peak of my sexuality (or at least when I did not have to spend so much time preparing myself to look presentable. Remember the days when we just roll off the bed and still look cute?).
With many web sites dedicated to meeting potential sexual partners one cannot miss out on much. At least one would think so. But the reality is somewhat somehow not quite as it all appears. So, here are a few observations that make me think fondly of times when I used to go to bars and meet people. Real people.

The rule of the net is that those beautiful men may not always be as beautiful as they seem in their personal profile when they arrive at your front door. With codenames such as Bogoss (Cuteboy), Meccho (Hot man), Blakdur (Hard Black) and many others that cannot be mentioned in polite company, you are the wiser for applying this rule: Add five years to their age and take five centimetres off their claim about the size of their sex. This avoids unnecessary disappointment when the guy shows up at your door, if he indeed shows up!
Internet being a virtual world, sometimes I am inclined to think that the men I chatted with were virtual too. We would set up a time to meet, or rather when they would come by my house since I like to meet in my apartment. Many would simply not show up and leave you waiting and wanting. Others would show up a lot later than the RDV time as if I had nothing better to do than wait for them (And they, on the other hand, have many important things to do and that I should be understanding about this). Some do show up pretty much on time give and take (mostly give) the usual 30 minutes late that the French are inclined to do (In fact, it is the quart d’heure de politesse meaning that it is polite to arrive 15 minutes after the invitation time to give the host or the hostess time to finish last minute preparation).

But one of the most blatant lies would be passing a picture of someone else as one’s own. This has happened to me when I expected a hot looking black guy and instead found a guy that was not even lukewarm when I opened the door with trembling anticipation. Indeed, black, but far from the svelte sexy man posted on my computer screen. He tried to justify it by saying that he had since gained 10 kilos…but then I don’t think getting fatter actually changes your facial bone structure! And, holy molly, what ever happened to those bulging muscles I saw in the pictures supposedly of you?

Another was a blond whose picture looked like a taller, stronger jawed and recently dyed blond Tom Cruise. When this guy arrived, indeed he was blond but far from possessing the winning smile that melted my whatever when I contemplated his picture on the net. He had the balls to say that he just got a haircut. Had he come up with a better excuse I would have invited him in for coffee, just to be polite.

Internet also illustrates the saying ‘looking for love in all the wrong places’. Many of the chat sites are sex oriented, yet, many also look for love (I don't know if this is a French thing or universal. But it's true that many French always seem to be looking for une histoire d'amour even if everything is falling apart..it's like breathing, one cannot do without!)…It is very hard to make a commitment after having sex with a guy for the first time of whom you only know his first name (and might not be his true first name to boot) and his mobile telephone number. This is a sure sign for me to loose his number or to not answer his calls. Or for sure you're going to have him stuck on you like a wet t shirt.

But the idea that the world is a faster place with internet (at least in term of finding someone to snuggle with for the night) cannot be more wrong. Indeed, if when I first got on the internet I was saying to myself how stupid I was for wasting all those hours in a bar standing around talking to a guy until three in the morning before finally going home with him or, worse, alone and drunk, this does not happen anymore. Now , I long for the good old days when we pretty up, go to the bar and chat up some guy who might not go home with your anyway. But at least he was real and was a real feast for the eyes. What’s more, many of the chat sites that used to be free have become paying…oh well, might as well spend it on a glass of blanche in my neighbourhood gay bar.